tonight i won am academic achievement award in creative writing, which i guess makes sense because twelve hours ago i was making shit up on the AP Gov exam
im not joking for this one short-answer on my AP exam i literally wrote “Natalie Portman is a feminist, I think. I loved her in Black Swan. My friend Sam can recite entire scenes from that movie. My favorite scene is the one with the cake. Her mom is so crazy.”
I DON’T THINK GENDER HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH NATURAL HUMOR ABILITY BECAUSE I’M NOT TRASH
By Jackie Farrell
Yesterday Thought Catalog, which is BuzzFeed for people who have read 10 pages of a Noam Chomsky book, published an article called “I Think Men Are Funnier Than Women, And I’m A Feminist” by a woman who, I guess, doesn’t understand what feminism is, or even basic gender theory.
The article is headed by an image of popular comedian Jon Stewart’s head photoshopped on to actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian from Watchmen. I feel like this is some weird avant-garde art because I can’t believe a human being could be so ignorant as to use a photo of a character who was written as a misogynist rapist and adapted into a movie by a man whose movies all heavily involve rape and sexism as an underlying theme (yes Zack Snyder of the cinematic horrors 300 and Sucker Punch) in an article that is supposedly about feminism. But let’s move on from there, perhaps that was not the author’s choice, and a thoughtless last-minute add-in by an editor, and move into the article.
Let’s assume that this article presents facts (it does not) and is not full of weird conjecture (it is). Let’s assume that men are inherently funnier than women. This would mean that inside the human genome there is some sort of “humor” gene that is only available for men. If this is true then it means that gender is also part of the human genome, as one must be born a man to be born with this coveted humor gene. If gender is genetic, then are trans* people just lying? Or are they born with the wrong “gender gene?” As a translady comedian do I beat the apparent natural difficulties of being a funny girl? Because I have a dick? Is the humor gene located in my Adam’s apple or my scrotum? If I get a vaginoplasty or a tracheal shave will I lose my natural wit? What does any of this mean?
So in author Caroline Mahon’s world where sex is gender and there are only boys and girls and boys are given the gift of laughter by a fairy godmother upon their birth perhaps men are funnier than women. But perhaps the reason there are more popular male comedians than female comedians is because there are simply more male comedians, and female comics who are doing things no man has truly done before them in comedy like Tig Notaro, Kristen Schaal, and Maria Bamford (to name three of the top of my head) aren’t given the publicity they deserve is because celebrity women are constantly reduced to a pair of breasts and legs on top of each other, rather than real human beings with opinions and ideas.
Maybe the reason there aren’t as many widely recognized female comedians is because throughout modern history women have been reduced to a household commodity and are the victims of violence and oppression all over the world.
So sorry, Caroline (do you mind if I call you that?), that women aren’t telling good enough jokes, when they’re being told from day one by people just like you that they can’t and shouldn’t even bother trying.
Here’s to every female comedian, no matter how good or bad your jokes are, for going up on a stage in front of drunk assholes and trying to entertain them. You rock. I’ll see you on stage someday.
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
i just took an AP Gov test and i learned nothing in that class so i just talked about Black Swan for the final question
ok time for bed i will dismantle the patriarchy tomorrow
i feel like i should feel strong because i keep going even when things suck but i don’t feel strong at all i feel like i’m minimally competent
i don’t really like being alive right now because sometimes good things happen to me or i do a good thing and then that immediately gets overshadowed by crippling self-doubt/hatred